Last Days of Sleep

Well I am finally back...not that you all have missed me....but then again you may have. I had gotten so lazy about blogging. I mean I had just started and was going pretty good and then I just lost steam. I mean there were a couple of things that had occupied me, like buying a new house and expecting a baby...you know minor things like that. But now we are pretty much settled and my EDD is September 3rd so I got a few more weeks of sleep...however uncomfortable it is at this point! So anyways, I was up and I started reading a few of the blogs that I used to frequent. Then I started to feel bad about neglecting my blog even though it's not that vital to the Internet world (not yet anyways...hee hee)....and so I figured the web is pretty forgiving. So here I am crawling back with my head hanging down in shame. I also feel bad because I had just started to get into HTML and learning all of that and now I will have to start over. Oh well. Anyways, this is it for now but stay tuned for bigger and better updates especially on the baby!

Six Degrees of Blogging

Well, at first I had no idea what a blog was. So I Googled it. Then I started reading all these other blogs and I was like well, I want one too. And even though I have been writing diaries and journals ever since I could write, I have always had one problem....CENSORSHIP. Does anyone else have this problem, or am I more vulnerable to it because of my Pakistani upbringing. You know where you shouldn't hide anything and paranoia is a trait that is actually cultivated in every offspring. You know that voice in the back of your head that says "What if someone sees this, what will they think?" Even now I am typing and I can feel the restraints kicking in and it is taking all of my willpower to keep going. Well maybe not that dramatic, but you know what I mean...or at least you do if you grew up like I did.

Growing up in a Pakistani household was not bad at all. Actually for the longest time I really didn't think of myself as any different than anyone in my school. There was a big desi community in Tulsa but there were none in my class. But as I grew older and especially when I went to high school, I saw people going out and staying out till all hours of the night. Looking back I really didn't mind....but it makes me wonder, what if my kids do and what will I do? I guess I'll tell them, "If I can do it you can too." I think parents have to make their kids realize that the Pakistani culture is a rich one and they should not let anyone make them feel inferior just because they can't do the traditional Amreeki things, like dating and all that. And you gotta let your kids know that there are other ways to have fun. Right now I can't think of them, but you know when the time comes I'm sure I'll come through. No but seriously, I am human (though my sister has doubts sometimes!), so I am not gonna pretend to be some saint and say that I didn't feel left out at times. I did and lemme tell ya, it does not feel good to be left out, when after a while people stop inviting you and you spend each weekend at home watching TV, or worse.....doing your homework. But I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that I really did not have any Pakistani friends my age. I have seen that in the bigger cities that have a more diverse population, kids tend to stick to their own ethinic groups, thus retaining their original culture and at the same time creating a hybrid of the old and new. But I think that it is healthy to have friendships with all kinds of people. You have to keep in mind (and this is to all those self-righteous people out there who think that they just sprouted out of American soil), everyone in this country has immigrant roots. The only true Americans are the Native Americans, and the rest are all implants. Growing up in America shelters you somewhat. You think that America is all there is in the world. I rememeber being amazed one time when I was young as I was watching TV and seeing other big beautiful cities such as Dubai and Sydney. I mean, I thought that places like that were only in the U.S.! Before you think, "Geez, what rock has she been living under," you have to understand there are a lot of people like that who have that same ignorant thoughts. They think that that the rest of the world is a third-world country. And that is such a pitiful and distorted view of the world it ain't even funny.

But anyways, I think we got to remember that there is a world out there apart from the U.S. The internet really makes you realize that. I mean, I surf the net and there are SO many things out there, it only seems to make me feel even more ignorant and uneducated. Countless books, movies, songs, places, histories.....the list goes on and on. It makes me feel impatient and restless, knowing that there a gazillion things out there yet that I have not yet experienced. Yet at the same time I love it. Imagine if you knoew everything...maybe some people would like that, but personally I think that you would just be sitting around waitng to die. I mean there would be no joy of learning of discovery.What a sad existance. But don't despair! I have yet to meet a person that knows it all...(though I have met people who think they know it all...*grimace*). So we can rest assure that there are plenty of things out there to see and discover to keep us occupied in this life. All these blogs out there....it's wonderful that people all over the world have a platform on which they can share their thoughts and dreams and experiences. So now we can not only learn from textbooks, we can learn from people all over the world, without even leaving our home. But even through all the advances in technology, I still think that we should all take a chance to go out and actually see the world and talk to real people and have real hands-on experiences. In my opinion, that is what life is all about....wouldn't you agree.....why are you still sitting there? Go live your life!

World Aid for Tsunami Relief

It is amazing to think that the United States would be behind in anything in this day and age. Usually the U.S. likes to be at the front and center of the world stage. But in the global relief effort for the South Asia tsunami disater, they are the last. In a news article on Yahoo, it relates the fact that the U.S. is the least of the donors with $350 million. And now the Bush administration say that they are going to increase that package. Well, they started out with a measly $15 million, then went up to $35 million. Now they are up to $350 million. It seems to me that to the U.S., these contributions constitute a global contest of some sorts of who can be the biggest donor. In a global catastrophe of this magnitude, the U.S. should be leaders, like the Bush administration prides itself it to be. However, in this they are merely followers...and bad ones at that.

Nerd-o-Meter

Here is my nerd score



I guess that's all right. I think my nerd level may have gone down since high school. Just something to pass the time with. Have fun.

Happy New Year

To everyone out there, a very Happy New Year. The new year gives us all the opportunity to start over it seems, but I think that we should approach every day this way. Every new day we all have the chance to do things that we have ignored or things that we meant to do and never got around to do doing.....or perhaps to stop doing the things that we know we should not be doing.

On another note, I can not even believe that it is 2005. The funny thing is that one of the first things that I think about is that my 10 year high school reunion is in 2 more years. Now that makes me feel old! I wondered about why I thought about that particular aspect of my life and I think it is because my high school years were so formative in the kind of person that I am. Of course, college did that too, but I think that in high school you are in a kind of limbo. You have been going to school with pretty much the same people that you went to elemantary school with and though everyone is growing up, you don't realize it. I mean, it's like 13 years in the same kind of atmosphere, not that many variables. You are essentially coccooned from the rest of the world. But then it comes time to go to college and it kind of throws you off. Everything that you knew changes. In high school, I thought that finals week was hell. Now I would gladly trade some adult problems for a another finals week. Everyone always said to enjoy this time. They said that it wouldn't last (I'd think, whatever they don't know what they are talking about). But now I know that they were right. And I tell younger people that now, but they have heard it from countless other people that their eyes just kind of glaze over and you know they aren't listening to you. I guess it is something that they will realize after it is all over.

But I digress. I'm sure I have depressed everyone out there when all I wanted to say was Happy New Year. Sometimes I can get really long-winded.

I guess you can blame that on my high school English classes.

South Asia's Tragedy

The disaster that has pummeled South Asia is needless to say absolutely horrific and heart-wrenching. I can not even begin to imagine what those people are going through and where they will find the strength and spirit to go on. My heart and prayers goes out to each and every one of the victims. It is our duty to do all that we can do to help them through this time. Every little bit counts; please don't let yourself think, "Well, I can't really do anything for them from across the world." Visit the Humanity First and Red Cross via the links that I have added and also the countless other organizations that are helping the victims. You can find information for helping the victims and there is something for everyone. Even though these types of disasters have people asking the inevitable, "Why did God allow this to happen," we should not let go of our faith. Understandably, the victims are in no position to just sit there and pray...they are just trying to survive. But we can pray for them if nothng else. InshaAllah, God willing, our prayers will reach them and give them the strength to go on.

The Pandora Complex

Well, anyone who knows about Greek mythology, probably knows all about Pandora. For those who do not, that is a shame, because Greek mythology (and all mythology for that matter) is truly fascinating! For the un-enlightened ones here is the story of Pandora....a short version of it at least.....

Zeus, the king of the gods, wanted to punish mankind for accepting the gift of fire from Prometheus. So he hit upon a plan that would do just that. He had Hephasetus, the smith-god, mold a girl out of clay and had Aphrodite pose for it to make sure that the girl was beautiful. He breathed life into the clay figure and then invited all the gods and goddesses to greet her and offer her gifts.

The girl received many wonderful gifts, but the two most relevant ones to this story are the gifts that Hera and Hermes gave her. Hermes, the messenger god gave her a beautiful golden box and told her that she must never ever open the box. And then Hera, the queen of the gods, gave her curiosity.

After that, Hermes took her to Epimetheus, Prometheus's brother, and told him that she was to be his wife. She was named Pandora, the all gifted. And so the couple were married and lived happliy ever after....or would have if not for that golden box.

Pandora was constantly thinking about the golden box. She polished it everyday until it sparkled...and even then it seemed to her that the box was mocking her. She thought about opening it, but she always remembered her promise to Hermes to keep it closed.

But the box was tormenting her. She put it in the storeroom, but still found excuses to go there. She buried it in the garden, but even then it was all she could think about.

One night, she went out into the garden. She unearthed it and took out the key. And then she opened it. To her horror, black scaly bat-like creatures flew out. They circled her head and then flew off into the night, hissing and cackling.

With the last of her strength, Pandora shut the lid on the box, trapping the last creature that was struggling to get out. And then she fainted away.

But how did Zeus punish mankind? And what were those creatures? They were the ills of mankind.....diseases, insanity, old age, famine, drought, etc. They flew into homes all over the world, and when the time was right, they attacked, bringing death and pain and sorrow.

And what was that very last creature that did not get out? That was Foreboding. If it had escaped, everyone in the world would know of every misfortune that would happen to them. There would be no hope and thus mankind would be ruined. For man can go through a myriad of endless troubles, but without hope, he cannot live.

Now what does this have to do with my blog, you ask. Well, the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines Pandora's box as a "prolific source of troubles." I think we all have a certain amount of Pandora in us. We all are curious and we all have troubles. But we also need to realize, through all the troubles and pressures of today's world, that things could be much worse. Sometimes, we ourselves are responsible for our troubles...we need to look beyond the golden box. But if we do get blinded by the golden box, that's all right; after all we are only human. But no matter what, we should always have hope. I am sure that there are people out there who do not agree with me and that's all right. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and I welcome them. But even through all of our differences, we should all remember that hope is the greatest gift that we have.

With that said, I wanted to share my thoughts and ideas with the world. I think that hope does not have to be an abstract idea. Hope can be found in everything, books, movies, and art, among other things. So this is where I will talk about these things and share my experiences......and I hope that these things will provide some sort of certainty in this uncertain world.

Welcome

Hey everybody....welcome to The Pandora Complex. You may be wondering about the the title...or maybe not. You may be wondering about me...or maybe not. Well either way, I will get to all of that...when I feel like it. For now, this is it...but more is to come.